Sinning in the City - A Guy’s Guide To Las Vegas

Las Vegas is the ultimate party destination. Millions of people flock here every year to indulge in all the depraved and notso-depraved activities the city has to offer. Whether you are here for your buddy’s bachelor party or for your 21st birthday, there is always plenty that will force you to live by the wise old code, “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.”

Now, how do you get here? If you are like me, you drive to Vegas from Los Angeles. As I’ve learned, having this city-sized amusement park a short drive away makes it easy to take off at the drop of a hat. Just like in Swingers, you can find yourself chanting “Vegas, baby, Vegas” moments after clocking out at the office on Friday afternoon.

There are a few places to stop along the way, but really, unless I need to get gas, my goal is always to get to Vegas as quickly as possible to join the debauchery. Traffic is always heavy on Interstate 15 on Friday and Sunday nights, especially on major holiday weekends. Because of this, if you have the flexibility, leave at odd hours of the day. On the way there, Thursday night or Friday morning, and on the way back, Monday morning or midnight on Sunday are times that I recommend. On three-day weekends, change that to Tuesdays.

Of course, many people will be flying in. There are a variety of ways to get tickets, specials and discounts abound, and there is really no rhyme or reason to it. I’ve had friends get tickets last-minute that were cheaper than those bought well in advance. If you are flying, enjoy yourself on the way in with some light drinking—you don’t want to get completely tanked before arriving—and do introduce yourself to the groups of women on the plane, so that your next encounter with them won’t just be by chance.

If you fly in at night, you should get a pretty spectacular view of not only the gorgeous Strip, but also the rapidly growing valley, second only to Paris in the number of lights.

Once here, you need to get to your hotel, or wherever it is you’re staying, aka the place where you will be crashing in a drunken stupor after getting kicked off the blackjack tables.

There is a wide range of car rental places at the airport. Be careful which agency you choose and book in advance with a place that will guarantee you a car when you arrive. I have heard stories of friends waiting around because the agency didn’t have a car available at that moment. I really don’t recommend renting a car if you plan to stay on or around the Strip, as there are plenty of other ways to get around.

For the players in the group, you can do better than just renting a Honda. There are a few places on the Strip and off that allow you to rent the car you’ve always dreamed of: Ferrari, Corvette, Viper, Porsche, Hummer, convertible. You name it, you can rent it. Some places have everything from one-hour to week-long rentals, as you might only need the convertible to go to Lake Mead for the afternoon. Some places, such as Rent-a-Vette, even have a complimentary hotel or airport shuttle for your trouble. Most of these places require you to be at least 25, and it isn’t cheap. Day rates can run anywhere from $300 to $1,500 depending on the car. There are additional charges for going over a certain number of miles.

You can also rent Harley-Davidson bikes at the world’s largest Harley-Davidson dealership. Don’t know how to ride a bike? No worries, since the dealer’s free shuttle will pick you up at your hotel and take you to lessons. The lessons aren’t cheap, around $350, but they supply the bike and all you need to bring is your wallet and that Easy Rider-inspired helmet you keep on top of your TV.

The tried-and-true way to get around town is the taxi. They are everywhere, and not incredibly expensive if you are bouncing around on the Strip, since you are never really going that far. Unless you request it, the driver might avoid the Strip on busy nights as he doesn’t want to be stuck in that maddening traffic any more than you do. For airport runs, expect to pay an extra charge on top of the fare. Tip these guys anywhere from $1 to $5 depending on the length of ride. This city being the adult playground that it is, there are so many different games and playmates that cab drivers can be a great source of information. But if you are looking for a strip club recommendation or something, be careful, because some cab drivers are paid by certain places to bring their fares in. So you might not get the best destination, but the one that fits your cabby’s agenda.

Be careful if you have more people in your group than there are seat belts in the cab. Drivers can get fines if they carry more than they are supposed to, so, although I’ve tipped a cab driver some money to shove in an extra person, most won’t do this. You’ll need to take multiple cabs.

If size is a question, your group can always get a limo. You will see these guys occasionally parked outside of casinos like cabs, but you may need to call ahead to get one, which most hotels will help you with. The fares are usually in the $65-plus-gas and getting from party point to party point in a limo is sexier than piling into a cab. If you want to spend even more money, most limo services in town now supply those big SUV limos or stretch Hummers, so you can pile all of those girls in that you were eyeing at the local nightspot. If you are manning the wheel, rental or otherwise, and you are a first-time visitor, it can be an exhilarating experience to drive down the Strip. I do recommend doing it once, as the sights and sounds are like no others. From the amazing lights and signs on the casinos to the wacky tourists filling the streets, your cocktail-blurred eyes-in the passenger seat, of course-will be entertained.

Once you’ve been there, done that, you’ll want to get from place to place as quickly as possible. The Strip can become the slowest stretch of road you have ever been on, so avoid it and take side roads to get where you want to go.

Koval Lane to the east and Frank Sinatra Drive and Industrial Road to the west are your best bets to get around with considerably less traffic than the Strip. Interstate 15 can be useful as well, when going north and south.

There are huge parking garages at every major resort on the Strip where you can park for free. Down-town still has a few garages that charge, but you can avoid the fee by validating at a variety of shops and casinos.

There are plenty of other ways to get around the Strip, including the local public transportation. Citizens Area Transit, or CAT, buses roll up and down the Strip and all around the city. There is always some entertainment to be had on these rides, especially off the Strip, but the ones on the Strip are pretty reliable and run all day and night. It’s about $2 for a ride, exact change required.

The latest thing to hit Vegas to help you get around is the Strip monorail. It runs from the MGM Grand on the south to the Sahara on the north, with seven stations along the way, including the Las Vegas Hilton, Las Vegas Convention Center, Harrah’s/Imperial Palace, Flamingo/Caesars Palace and Bally’s/ Paris Las Vegas. Besides being a good source of transportation, the elevated monorail provides amazing views of the Strip and other parts of the valley. Eventually there are plans for the monorail to extend to the airport on one end and to downtown Vegas on the other. That’s a few years away, though, so for now be content with the stops above, for about $5 a trip for tourists, $1 for locals.

Free lunches are a rarity, but free rides in Vegas are common. Several hotels run free shuttles between their sister properties. Some out-of-the-way casinos like Sam’s Town and Green Valley Ranch Station provide shuttles to fetch gamblers. Plus, there are two free trams, one shuttling passengers from Treasure Island to the Mirage and the second pushing people from Mandalay Bay to Luxor and the Excalibur.


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